pointedview (pointedview) wrote,

Foods I hate: get them off my plate!

Just because I'm a foodie doesn't mean that I like all foods. Here is a list of things that I will politely avoid if served to me:

  • Eggs in any identifiable form. I'm fine with custards, cakes, and so on, but I detest anything where they display their actual rubbery, nasty nature. Scrambled, poached, and fried preparations are a definite no-no, but the very worst is hard-boiled. This particular dislike causes me all sorts of misery when I go out to restaurants, particularly those with a limited breakfast menu, because almost every-damn-thing involves eggs.

  • Tomatoes. I'm fine with them masquerading as gazpacho and ketchup. I tolerate them as marinara sauce. However, do not put that raw, oozing, unfinished proto-alien thing on my sammitch, or anywhere else, for that matter. I tell you: I'm defending the planet by not letting them establish a foothold on my salad plate. I like true grape tomatoes, they're small enough not to do any harm, but their larger cousins are right out.

  • Brussels sprouts are little mutant cabbages-that-never-were. They're wannabes. We hates them, precious.

  • Liver. I'll eat it as pate or if it is foie gras, but that's about it.

  • Typical cake icing. There's good buttercream icing, like the kind that was on our wedding cake, and then there's the hideously oversweetened sort used on most grocery cakes. I scrape that off and just eat the cake.

  • Chicken. I'm okay with it fried or done up as Chicken Alouette. Brunswick stew is okay, too, but do not just present me with a chicken breast in some sauce. It's generally overcooked and bland, and I avoid it if at all possible. Chicken broth is fine.

  • Boiled peanuts. Why you'd want to take a perfectly decent nut and make it all slimy, I'll never know.

  • Cream of wheat. I have no interest in ingesting spackle, thanks. Give me grits or oatmeal any day.

  • Canned foods. I'll do some canned foods, like canned tomatoes, but canning seems to make some otherwise-decent food slimy and vaguely metallic. Asparagus is a prime example. I prefer fresh or frozen.

  • Believe it or not, despite the general American addiction to cow, I'm somewhat picky about beef. I love a good steak or a tasty burger on the rare side of medium-rare (I don't like it bleeding, but I hate it overcooked), I'm very picky about meatloaf but there are some recipes that I like, and I'll even eat beef tongue in certain specific preparations (Las Americas makes a good burrito con lengua). However, I'm not so much on pot roast or most preparations of beef stew.

  • I love fresh tuna, I love tuna as sushi, but the smell of canned tuna is enough to put me off other food for the rest of the day. I'm fairly sensitive to bad smells -- even typing the words tar and paint fumes makes me wince.

  • Speaking of fish, I hate gefilte fish. Ye gods, out of all the foods on this list, this is the one I most despise. I love my Jewish friends dearly, and I'll eat all the matzo ball soup that there is, but you can have my portion of the gefilte fish. I'm pretty sure that lutefisk is just as vile, although I've never tried it. Really, I avoid most things in gelatin, including the ubiquitous Southern Jell-O salads.

  • More on fish: I love lox ... really, I like salmon in many forms, but I'm not terribly fond of the basic salmon steak or, heaven forbid, salmon croquettes. I'll eat a salmon steak if it's served to me, but it's not something I'd voluntarily order. My husband hates salmon, so it pretty much never darkens our door.

  • I must be the only person on the planet who dislikes chicken noodle soup. I like wonton soup, and I love matzo ball soup, so it's not really the chicken part of it that's the problem: it's the sodden noodles (or the sodden rice in the case of chicken and rice soup) that drive me away. It's a horrid thing to do to perfectly decent pasta that should be al dente. The Chinese had the good sense to make a noodle that can stand up to hot liquid, so I quite like wonton soup.

  • Alfredo sauce. Never. I will not eat it on a boat; I will not eat it with a goat. Really, of the three "main" Italian pasta sauces, pesto is the only one that I actively like.

That's about it. As for cuisines as a whole, while I can usually find something on the menu to eat, I generally avoid chain Mexican and Italian places.

What about you? What foods do you loathe?

Edit: I forgot that I like lemon in savory things, but not in sweet things. I like sweet/hot and sweet/salty combinations, but I've never been much for sweet/sour. I don't like Sweet Tarts, either, for this reason.

Tags: food
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