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Foods I hate: get them off my plate!

Just because I'm a foodie doesn't mean that I like all foods. Here is a list of things that I will politely avoid if served to me:

  • Eggs in any identifiable form. I'm fine with custards, cakes, and so on, but I detest anything where they display their actual rubbery, nasty nature. Scrambled, poached, and fried preparations are a definite no-no, but the very worst is hard-boiled. This particular dislike causes me all sorts of misery when I go out to restaurants, particularly those with a limited breakfast menu, because almost every-damn-thing involves eggs.

  • Tomatoes. I'm fine with them masquerading as gazpacho and ketchup. I tolerate them as marinara sauce. However, do not put that raw, oozing, unfinished proto-alien thing on my sammitch, or anywhere else, for that matter. I tell you: I'm defending the planet by not letting them establish a foothold on my salad plate. I like true grape tomatoes, they're small enough not to do any harm, but their larger cousins are right out.

  • Brussels sprouts are little mutant cabbages-that-never-were. They're wannabes. We hates them, precious.

  • Liver. I'll eat it as pate or if it is foie gras, but that's about it.

  • Typical cake icing. There's good buttercream icing, like the kind that was on our wedding cake, and then there's the hideously oversweetened sort used on most grocery cakes. I scrape that off and just eat the cake.

  • Chicken. I'm okay with it fried or done up as Chicken Alouette. Brunswick stew is okay, too, but do not just present me with a chicken breast in some sauce. It's generally overcooked and bland, and I avoid it if at all possible. Chicken broth is fine.

  • Boiled peanuts. Why you'd want to take a perfectly decent nut and make it all slimy, I'll never know.

  • Cream of wheat. I have no interest in ingesting spackle, thanks. Give me grits or oatmeal any day.

  • Canned foods. I'll do some canned foods, like canned tomatoes, but canning seems to make some otherwise-decent food slimy and vaguely metallic. Asparagus is a prime example. I prefer fresh or frozen.

  • Believe it or not, despite the general American addiction to cow, I'm somewhat picky about beef. I love a good steak or a tasty burger on the rare side of medium-rare (I don't like it bleeding, but I hate it overcooked), I'm very picky about meatloaf but there are some recipes that I like, and I'll even eat beef tongue in certain specific preparations (Las Americas makes a good burrito con lengua). However, I'm not so much on pot roast or most preparations of beef stew.

  • I love fresh tuna, I love tuna as sushi, but the smell of canned tuna is enough to put me off other food for the rest of the day. I'm fairly sensitive to bad smells -- even typing the words tar and paint fumes makes me wince.

  • Speaking of fish, I hate gefilte fish. Ye gods, out of all the foods on this list, this is the one I most despise. I love my Jewish friends dearly, and I'll eat all the matzo ball soup that there is, but you can have my portion of the gefilte fish. I'm pretty sure that lutefisk is just as vile, although I've never tried it. Really, I avoid most things in gelatin, including the ubiquitous Southern Jell-O salads.

  • More on fish: I love lox ... really, I like salmon in many forms, but I'm not terribly fond of the basic salmon steak or, heaven forbid, salmon croquettes. I'll eat a salmon steak if it's served to me, but it's not something I'd voluntarily order. My husband hates salmon, so it pretty much never darkens our door.

  • I must be the only person on the planet who dislikes chicken noodle soup. I like wonton soup, and I love matzo ball soup, so it's not really the chicken part of it that's the problem: it's the sodden noodles (or the sodden rice in the case of chicken and rice soup) that drive me away. It's a horrid thing to do to perfectly decent pasta that should be al dente. The Chinese had the good sense to make a noodle that can stand up to hot liquid, so I quite like wonton soup.

  • Alfredo sauce. Never. I will not eat it on a boat; I will not eat it with a goat. Really, of the three "main" Italian pasta sauces, pesto is the only one that I actively like.

That's about it. As for cuisines as a whole, while I can usually find something on the menu to eat, I generally avoid chain Mexican and Italian places.

What about you? What foods do you loathe?

Edit: I forgot that I like lemon in savory things, but not in sweet things. I like sweet/hot and sweet/salty combinations, but I've never been much for sweet/sour. I don't like Sweet Tarts, either, for this reason.



( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 19th, 2006 11:38 pm (UTC)
I'm glad that I'm not the only one who dislikes eggs not baked into something like a cake. And while I can stand store cake icing, but just barely. Not after being introduced to the buttermilk kind.
Apr. 20th, 2006 01:26 am (UTC)
Hooray! You're definitely not alone. In fact, over our time on LJ, I've realize that we really do have a good bit in common.

Buttermilk icing? I don't know that I've had that, but it sounds good.
Apr. 20th, 2006 01:37 am (UTC)
I meant buttercream, not buttermilk.
Apr. 20th, 2006 01:01 am (UTC)
Agreed about tomatoes. I pretty much don't like anything that typcally goes in a salad - I find most raw vegetables vile. Exceptions are mushrooms, cauliflower, and broccoli.

Turnips and collard greens are disgusting, cooked or not.

Wine - sorry, I know this hurts you, but it's terrible.

Coconut - not the flavor, but the texture. Pina coladas are fine; but cocunut shavings are terrible.

Oysters/mussels/any shellfish where you are expected to eat their gutsac. Yuck. Thank god scallops and clams are field-stripped and served clean.

Also agreed on liver, but what on earth do you have against chicken? That's like hating vanilla ice cream ... chicken is the vanilla of meat.

What a sad, sad world that you live in without salmon :(
Apr. 20th, 2006 01:24 am (UTC)
It's okay. I genuinely, no sarcasm at all, applaud you for your willingness to give it multiple tries. That's one thing I've always liked about you. You may be skeptical about something, but you're generally willing to at least give it a shot. Even when we disagree, I respect your opinion because I can be pretty confident that you've actually looked into whatever you're saying and you're not just blowing hot air. :)

No, read again -- I like salmon in several forms, especially as lox, but I don't like it when people chop it up and turn it into croquettes and stuff. I'll eat a salmon steak if it's served to me, and I even actively like the way my father prepares those on the grill, it's just not something that I typically choose in restaurants.
Apr. 20th, 2006 01:43 am (UTC)
Liver is nasty. I just cannot do organ meats or glands.

Also, caviar not my thing.

Apr. 20th, 2006 01:48 am (UTC)
My boss dislikes caviar as well. She says she doesn't like the sensation of the eggs bursting in her mouth.
Apr. 20th, 2006 11:53 am (UTC)
I feel exactly the same way about salmon roe ... one of the few sushi ingredients I just cannot abide ... I do like smelt roe, though. The little bitty eggs are fun, but the big, squishy, bursty sacs full of warm gooey salt ... ick ick ick ick

I need a shower now :/
Apr. 20th, 2006 01:36 pm (UTC)
Oh my! I am with you on so many hates. I cannot, and will not, eat the poison filter of another animal. For those who do, I have to wonder if they realize what and how liver functions.

Also Alfredo, or any heavy savory sauce for that matter - just makes me sick to my stomach. I can do sweet and heavy, but even then in small doses - like a small slice of cheesecake, or a single truffle, or a tiny bit of real chocolate mousse. I used to be made fun of on a regular basis because I refused mosst white creamy foods, and would classify it as such ("Oooh poor Dave!" they would say). Alfredo, mayonaisse, tartar, etc were RIGHT out. The only exception being small bits of ranch dressing for fried zuchinni and salad. And dessert based white creaminess.

I like tuna, but I can't eat it because it's full of mercury :(

Caviar is another one I dislike greatly. Way too salty - though I admit the texture is fun.

Ooh, speaking of texture - I DESPISE with flaming passion whipped cream. It makes me gag. And soley because of the texture. It's like eating wet bread and I cannot STAND it. If something comes with whipped cream I will scrape off every tiny bit and give it to David, who would eat it by the fistful if he could.

Most fungus I can't do either. I just dislike, greatly, the mushroom. Portabellas are ok, but I'd rather eat anything else. Small slices of mushroom on piszza I'll eat, because they're usually very tiny and almost shaved. In soups I'll eat it as well.... but if I can help it, I'll avoid fungus in general. The exception being real truffle, but that's only tiny shaved bits. And real truffle, not truffle oil or 'truffle-infused' anything.

OOOOOH. My #1 foodie dislike is PESTO. I cannot stand pesto.

I also hate cilantro with every fiber of my being. Nothing ruins a salsa for me like a big bite of cilantro.

I'm such a cake snob too. I cannot STAND the store bakery icing. This falls under the same category as whipped cream: WET BREAD. A good buttercream please. Or even better, GANACHE (if the cake calls for chocolate).

Strange pig parts. Like pigs feet, pig lips, and I swear to God - pig anus. PIG ANUS.

Yeah yeah *inserts obligatory butt sex joke*

I'm actually a rather picky eater, but I can find stuff to eat anywhere, so long as the waitress doesn't mind taking 4 or 5 alterations :p
Apr. 28th, 2006 06:10 pm (UTC)
Like you, my boss hates mayonnaise and creamy stuff like that. I'm okay with cold creamy dressings, but not hot sauces like alfredo.

My sister shares your dislike of mushrooms. I'm afraid I'm one of those fungi-lovers, but I'd never pick a wild one.

Okay, okay, we won't serve pesto when y'all come over. David dislikes it as well. ;) You're also safe on the cilantro, 'cause he's got that (supposed) genetic thing where it tastes like soap to him. I like it, but he can't abide it.

I would have to be starving in a desert to the point where I was choosing between sand and pig anus to even remotely entertain the idea of something like that as food. DISGUSTING. I mean, hello -- the stuff that your body is getting rid of comes out of that! Ick!
Apr. 21st, 2006 12:36 pm (UTC)
You know, I agree on some points:

Eggs: I think this is a hormonal thing. There are times of the month when I detect a sweetish smell in egg whites that just makes me gag. Ugh. If I have to make egg pasta for ravioli or somesuch, then I have to make someone else oversee the boiling. I just can't take the smell of the eggs. Lately I've been using a vegan pasta dough recipe just to avoid the egg smell. This is also why I don't eat breakfast in restaurants when home in the US. But there are times when I don't smell it, and it doesn't depend on the eggs.

Tomatoes I love. You can give them all to me :)

Brussels sprouts need a very strong vinegary, (dijon) mustardy dressing. Then they can be good if handled right.

Canned fish, be it tuna or something else, is an abomination. People don't eat three doy old fish. So then why is three month old fish from a can considered food? Actually, this goes for all canned food.
My father worked as a researcher for the lacquer industry when I was a young child. In particular, his company did the lacquer that is on the inside of food cans. He forbade my mother using canned foods. I'm sure the technology has improved over the years. Still, I'm not used to cans, and think people should eat fresh anyways. (Try homemade chicken noodle soup, with the noodles just cooked before being added to the soup to be eaten. You'll have a different opinion.)

Factory farmed chicken is pointless cruelty: it doesn't even taste good. Good free-range chicken is very far from bland. Since it's expensive, chicken's returned to being a special thing for us.

Alfredo is an American invention. I've never seen anything remotely resembling it in italy. To me, having something flour thickened on a pile of boiled flour is just too much.

American bakery cake icing is not food. Anything involving hydrogenated fats, such amounts of sugar, and artificial colors is just not food. I can't deal with the mouthfeel. (Dad also forbade hydrogenated fats. It wasn't only because of the trans-fats, though I do remember him mentioning that, but because of the catalysts involved. Actually, he still tells me off for using oil for high temp frying, because of the trans-fat thing. But I really can't take the piggy smell of lard....) Here in vienna, one can really learn to love cake again (as my widening butt can attest). Also, have you ever tasted artificial color straight? I have. It is utterly vile. And I have no idea why people put it in their food.

So, yeah, I hate fake and artificial "food", mostly, and eggs when my body is being sensitive to them. I figure most fresh raw ingredients are edible if handled properly in some way. I'll at least try just about anything 'cept maggots.
Apr. 28th, 2006 06:16 pm (UTC)
You definitely have a point on the canned fish.

I've had homemade chicken soup, and I just can't like it. The chickens and their eggs are pretty much safe from me.

You're probably right that most raw ingredients are likely edible if handled properly, but I have a complete and utter psychological barrier against eating crickets and the like. Bleah.
Apr. 27th, 2006 07:43 pm (UTC)
Cooked tuna is a smell that can send me dry-heaving and flailing like no tomorrow.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )


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