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Crying vs. Cafes

I think this is an interesting situation, not the least of which because of the failure by some of the parties to realize that it's about manners and appropriate conduct, not about hating children. It's also noteworthy that people are becoming more vocal and open about the conflict as the American nuclear family continues to shrink:

Stirring Up the Stroller Set


Source: Plastic

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
weetanya
Nov. 10th, 2005 05:02 pm (UTC)
I am proud to say that Alba is never noisy in restaurants. And when she is, we take her outside.

"I don't think it's unreasonable to ask parents to quiet their kids."

Absolutely. Maybe I'm a facist bitch for saying so, but I'd never want Alba to bother people in public places.
pointedview
Nov. 10th, 2005 05:21 pm (UTC)
I don't think you're a fascist bitch. If and when we have a child, taking him or her outside is exactly what I would do in such a situation. Or, better yet, do what my parents did and instill the appropriate amount of parental intimidation, which worked so well that my sister and I learned to watch my mother's hands. When we were in trouble, she'd say: "This is One. This is Two. Don't make me say Three." In public, she didn't even have to say a word. If we saw her hands start to count off one and two, we knew to straighten up and fly right. :)
goodjoan
Nov. 10th, 2005 07:02 pm (UTC)
I think the guy did the right thing, the note WAS pretty harmless. I've seen ones that were much more obvious, like "Children unacompanied by an adult will recieve a free kitten!" Which ws funny, but still got the point across that the folks here don't want your kid running willy nilly all over the place. I have some pretty tight rules for eatng out, but they slide depending on where we are. I am obviously going to tolerate a lot more running and pole climbing at McDonalds, but absolutely none at all in a nice restaurant. Places like Willys, where the people have always been super friendly, the kids are expected to be seated but they can talk a little louder, since some days the crowd noise is pretty loud already! When they really won't sit still in a nice place, we just leave. None of this walking around the parking lot and taking turns eating, I think kids learn that screaming is great way to go outside and play with mommy or daddy alone when you do that! We all leave, either we have the manners as a family or we don't. Dan hauls the kids to the car, I flag the waitress and get our order to go if we've already placed it.

I still can't imagine letting my kid run from table to table (ever!) or climbing up the poles in a cafe! Cafe to me says "quiet, relaxed, don't want strange kids in my face" I have a friend who lets her son walk around in restaurants, she Encourages it! It drives me batty because, I know if I was eating there, I wouldn't want some strange kid to come stare at me. She thinks it's good for his social skills and helps him learn since so many people are interested in talking to him (do they have a choice?)

In any case, the guy probably got what he wanted, a quieter, more non-kid place for folks to hang out! He's probably lost the PB&J set for lunch because of the publicity, but he will probably make that up in childfree coffees and lunches in the future.
theath
Nov. 14th, 2005 04:18 pm (UTC)
It ain't easy
Boy have I been there. Kids have moods just like everyone else. The difference is that when adults are in a foul mood, they sometimes have the sense to lay low until it passes, rather than inflict it on the rest of the world. Kids don't get to make that choice. Parents have to make it for them. I know we've walked out of a restaraunt within minutes of getting our food a couple of times, when it became obvious that Parker wasn't going to quiet down and others were going to be disturbed as a result. It's just part of being a parent.

I have to admit that as a parent, I'm a little hypervigilant aboutnot letting Parker run amok in public. If wer're out somewhere that isn't a playground, usually he has to hold either my hand or the hubby's. Either that or he's going to sit in the stroller or be held. And if neither of those are options, then we go sit in the car until he's ready to cooperate or calms down. Or we go home.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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