pointedview (pointedview) wrote,
pointedview
pointedview

Chronicles of Riddick? Or do you mean Roquefort?

As in cheese, baby. Why didn't anyone warn me that this movie would be two hours of my life that I couldn't get back? We hadn't yet spent Father's Day time with David's dad, so we went to see the movie with him this afternoon. Erm, it looked pretty, but I think my cat could probably write a better script if she had opposable thumbs and a serious dose of caffeine.

Riddick is one of the last of a race called the Furians? Please. If someone asked the viewing audience "How many of you thought: 'The Fast and the Furians'?" I am fairly certain that everyone's hand would go up. That wasn't CGI: those monoliths were carved from pure Wisconsin cheddar, propped up by dialogue like "It's been a long time since I smelled beautiful," as Riddick (Vin Diesel) sniffs Dame Vaako (Thandie Newton), and "It's an animal thing," after Riddick stares down a bad CGI creature that somewhat resembles a puma with spiky scales. This, by the way, takes place on a planet by the name of Crematoria. *eye roll*

Chronicles of Riddick? More like Chronicles of Ridiculous.

So far, unless Spider-Man 2 turns out to be worthwhile, Shrek 2 is looking like the best movie of the summer.

Come on, Serenity (2005). Come on, X-Men 3 (2006).

Tags: movies
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