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Some things just shouldn't be done

From the “Oh, no, they didn’t!” department:

Gone With the Wind is now a musical

A few excerpts from the article with my annotations below:

It has book, music and lyrics by Margaret Martin, a Los Angeles-based writer with a doctorate in public health who has never before had a play produced professionally. But if she is worried, she doesn't show it.

Translation: a Southerner would know better than to go down this road.

Martin, 54, is a former teenage single mother who returned to college in her 30s and emerged a decade later with a Ph.D. in community health science and a desire to do "the most fun thing I could think of doing" -- write a stage musical.

Pay attention to the single mother bit. It comes back later in the article.

The fact that she had no experience in professional theater did not daunt her.

The fact that she has no experience in professional theater is precisely why it doesn’t daunt her.

"I thought, 'What story does everyone know in America?"' Martin said. "And when 'Gone With the Wind' came into my mind, I never thought I wouldn't be doing it. The only question I had was the rights," she said in an interview with The Associated Press.

We never thought anyone with the sense God gave a turnip would be doing it, thus, it fell to you.

In the movie, Scarlett is portrayed as spoiled and self-involved, Martin said. "But I see Scarlett O'Hara as a stressed-out teenage single mum who assumes responsibility for the survival of a large extended family under horrific circumstances."

Methinks her perception is a mite colored by her experiences, and lacking in objectivity. She also fails at reading comprehension, given that Scarlett was anything but single from the moment she married Charles Hamilton until the end of the book.

Martin called Scarlett one of the first feminists in American literature. "She is madly heroic in all she does," she said. "Her experience, I think, will resonate with any woman."

Sweeping generalizations aside, her experience will only resonate until the woman in question is mature enough to get Melanie Wilkes. I speak from personal experience: under the age of 25, I liked Scarlett better, too, but then I grew up.

Two previews were canceled as cast and crew whittled the show down to a more manageable 3 1/2 hours.

Tomorrow is another day, but you’ll still be watching the same show.

A previous attempt to turn "Gone With the Wind" into a musical, "Scarlett," opened in Tokyo in 1970 and came to London in 1972. But a planned Broadway run was canceled after poor reviews of a Los Angeles run, and the show has not been staged in 30 years.

Danger, Will Robinson. Previous attempts have sucked, and this one will, too.

Martin is undaunted.

I can only assume that this is because she is nuttier than squirrel poo.

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